Out of the Mouths of Babes

Mara looked at me with a thoughtful gleam in her eye and said:

"Mimi, I think that birth and death are really just two doors to the same room."

Damn.

And we all take a step to the left.

The adventure
Of life is to LEARN.

The goal
Of life is to GROW.

The nature
Of life is to CHANGE.

The challenge
Of life is to OVERCOME.

The essence
Of life is to CARE.

The secret
Of life is to DARE.

The beauty
Of life is to GIVE.

The joy
Of life is to LOVE.

- William Arthur Ward

A Haiku for My Auntie

Spin/Stir Aunt
Whisper Whistle Whoop...
Be-Wilder!

Image from: Australian Museum Online

My Second Life-Hera Is Dying

My Aunt Caroline

Is

Dying.

Hospice has been called. They are probably there right now. Caroline has cancer. Cancer has Caroline. She has decided enough is enough. Her body has done everything it can to kick the cancer out. She's been fighting it for about 5 years now.

They say she has weeks to live.

She's not eating or drinking. She's just on an I.V. drip. She walked 6 blocks yesterday. She has the Hoverers (her community friends) to keep her spirit up.

My uncle is bringing a big computer over to finish up the cookbook they were working on. It documents all of the recipes my grandmother made over the decades. (My grandmother is still alive. Caroline will be the second adult child she will bury.)

What will I do without My Caroline on this earth? How will I go on? Why does it have to be this way? She's only 56 years old.

She can't drink anything because it will bloat her. She can't eat anything because it just comes back up. The antibiotics they have her on are so strong, they are making her sick. But if she doesn't take the antibiotics, she will die from infection.

She says she's tired. She's tired of it all. She's in pain.

I do not want to go on without her. I am selfish. But go on I will. Grama's going on. Dad's going on. I will go on. And that's what she wants.

Her cancer has been a gift to our family. It has brought us so much closer. And the truths that have come out have cleared the air a lot. People are healthier due to her cancer. Is that not ironic?

I will go to see her soon. Before she crosses over. I will tell her I will miss her and her sweet melody. I will carry her song in my heart and pass it on. I will be sad. I am sad.

And then, when she is gone from this earthly venture, I will go back again and celebrate her life with my family. We will have a wake for her. And we will party in her memory. We will tell stories, sing songs, and be silly.

Because Caroline wants it that way. And so do I.

Tiger Tiger Burning Bright...

I love you Caroline.

I will honor your memory on each Samhain. You will take a spot of honor next to Aunt Sophia. Kith and Kin. In Spirit.

Go In Power & Go In Peace.

Merry Meet, and Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again...

Blessed Be.

The Little People of Stonehenge

The Little People of Stonehenge
(Photo by: Jordan Donie)
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Here's Mara coming back from her Mo Ranch experience. They stopped at the stonehenge that's close to the ranch. I'm jealous! :)

Every Witch Way, as defined by Websters' First New Intergalactic Wickedary of the English Language; Conjured by Mary Daly; Illus by Sudie Rakunsin

image found at: http://www.sudierakusin.com/index2.htm

Witch Way, Every [every which way "in every direction...in a disorderly manner; IRREGULARLY" -- Webster's] : in every Weird direction: Erratically; in any Sparking/Spooking way that Dis-orders boreocracy. See: Labyrinth; Pixy-path (W-W2)

I loooove the Wickedary. Shall we look up Labyrinth and Pixy-path? Of course we shall.

Pixy Path [a path by which those who follow it are bewildered and lost" -- OED] 1: trail into the Background where Journeyers are Be-Wildered and forever lost to the patriarchy 2: pathway that leads between the left and right hemispheres of the brain; path that leads off the map and into the Third Hemisphere. See: Third Hemisphere (W-W2)

Labyrinth n[(derived fr. Gk labyrinthos...akin to Gk labrys double ax): "a structure full of intricate passageways...the internal ear" -- Webster's] 1: true pathway of the Metapatriarchal Journey of Exorcism and Ectasy, leading into and through the Background 2: an Elemental capacity for Hearing the way into the Otherworld

Third Hemisphere: zone Dis-covered and explored by Contrary-Wise Crones who Spin beyond the compass and off the map; uncharted Zone: Fairy Space

mmmm.... delicious.

Just the thing to read when one has finished spreading 3.5 cubic yards of organic compost all over one's domain. In other words: I'm tired. But be-laughing and happy about it! So, in yo' face Fake Green Yards at the McMansions Estates! The worms are so happy at my place. And welcome too. Spiders and insects, oh my! Me and my wycked wycked ways!

So, apparently, I *would* rather shovel shit than balance the checkbook!

What did I do today?

Started the day with a nice steaming pile of compost.

Seriously. You should have seen it! It was delivered today from The Natural Gardener. Bright and early. Okay. So it wasn't bright. But it was early!

And I just couldn't stay out of it. I was grumpy. So I got a shovel and a wheelbarrow and started to top dress my backyard. I only did 6 contractor-sized wheelbarrows-full. Only. (Remember, I dislocated my shoulder a mere week ago.) And I managed to do that in a little over an hour or so. While I was listening to Ken Wilbur's Spiral Dynamics CD's. (I am so f'in crunchy, it's pathetic.) I spread it around, back racked it in, and boy-ola! Pretty dirt. Nothing says love like compost. Well, to an organic yard with earthworms, anyway ;o). In another 2 days, with John's help, we will have 3.5 cubic yards of compost lovingly blanketing our sweet domain.

Personally, I hope the promise of it helping with the watering this summer pulls through. Apparently, rotting material is like gold the way they price it {grin}.

And to think, I could have balanced the checkbook. Hahaha! That can wait another day. The grass needs me...

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composting

The irony of it all...

What is Tribal Belly Dance?
Copyright and All Rights Reserved by Heavy Hips Director Palika in March, 2000.

(Could be titled: "Why I Personally Belly Dance" just as easily. But, since I didn't write it, I didn't get to choose the title.)

Written in 2000. That's the ironic part.

Because that's when I stopped practicing. Due to frustration and anxiety over-load. I hope it's better this time around...

Sometimes I really wonder about myself. But then, that makes me special *how*? ;o)

I'm still giving myself 9 kinds of hell because I'm a social retard. Oh, well. I have to be content with the fact that I try, I really do and that I'm good at other things.

Photo from: Unknown

American Tribal Belly*Dance

That's me, 10 years ago. Carolena Nerricio and I were starting up our mail-order businesses. I had the honor and the priviledge of witnessing (and in some very very small ways, contributing to) FatChanceBellyDance grow to the fabulocity it is today. How amazing that time flies like it does...

10 years later, I'm starting up classes again. I did bellydance classes from 1994 until 2000. I was the web mistress for Austin Belly*Dance web site for something like 6 years and I've maintained the Austin Belly*Dance announce mail-list for about 7 years now.

I stopped bellydance for a few reasons, but the main one was Mara just wouldn't sit still for it any more. She wasn't interested in hanging out at the shows while her daddy and I either performed or watched. She had other things to do. The other reason (and this one is far more potent) was that I couldn't get past my anxiety about performing. And for some reason, most people in bellydance are all about performing. Perfectionism got in my way. I didn't (and couldn't) understand that you had to fail over and over at something before you succeeded. That just wasn't part of what I'd experienced in life. Either you are good at something, or you are not.

Raising a child and knitting (yes, knitting! All praise the Knitting Goddess!) has changed me quite a bit. My body is so much more flexible and strong due to a thriving yoga practice, walking, biking, hiking, and doing my own yard work. I'm still able to pick Mara up and she's about 74 lbs. But the knitting... Ah, the knitting. It has really changed my perceptions and softened my perspectives on how to learn something and how to practice it. It is not "Do or do not." It's more like "Practice." If you do something with an end result in mind, it will be over. It can't continue on. Yarn has taught me that. I could go on and on about it.

So, finally... Austin's bellydance community has reached a maturity level to support tribal dance. It's been here struggling for over 10 years. I went to the FatChanceBellyDance HOT seminar back in... was it 1998? It was *fantastic*. There were so many dancers in attendance. But tribal never *really* took off here at that point. There were no classes. No structure within which to practice and commune. There were a few of us who loved it, but not enough passion and dedication to spark the energy it takes to gestate a full blown tribe. And now, there is! Oh, gloriousness!

Don't get me wrong. They've been building up for a while and my family situation has finally allowed me to reintegrate with the bellydance community. So, it's not me saying what amounts to "I told you so". It's me rejoicing in finding this ready-made community of fine, well-made, organic, independent womyn practicing something I love. It's me feeling so incredibly lucky that this community waited for me and welcomed me when I grew up enough to truly appreciated it. I feel as if I've come home.

Bellydance. Parenting. Knitting. Yoga. Crochet. Bellydance.

So, look up some bellydance! A big zaghareet to you all!

• FatChanceBellyDance
• Mountain Gypsy Tribe
• American Tribal Style Wikipedia Page
• Heavy Hips

Satan's Daisy Chain...

Satan's Daisy Chain...
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Annnnnd.... Here it is in all it's glory! It amuses me to think about Casey and Andy's Satan crocheting as one of Her hobbies... For those of you who haven't indulged, Casey & Andy . As luck would have it, today's strip features... Satan };`>.

Consumer Reports, (February 2006): which organic foods are your best buy

Buy these items organic as often as possible:

§ Apples, bell peppers, celery, cherries, imported grapes, nectarines, peaches, pears, potatoes, red raspberries, spinach and strawberries. Even after washing some fruits and vegetables consistently carry much higher levels of pesticide residue than others. Researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG) have developed the "dirty dozen" fruits and vegetables which are listed, that they say you should always buy organic if possible because their conventionally grown counterparts tend to be laden with pesticides. Among the fruits, nectarines had the highest percentage - testing positive for pesticide residue. Peaches and red raspberries had the most pesticides on a single sample. Among the vegetables, celery and spinach most often carried pesticides with spinach having the highest number on a single sample. (For more information on pesticide levels for other types of produce, go to www.foodnews.org.)

§ Meat, poultry, eggs and dairy. By purchasing organic products, you greatly reduce the risk of exposure to the agent believed to cause mad cow disease and minimize exposure to other potential toxins in non-organic feed. You also avoid the results of production methods that use daily supplemental hormones and antibiotics, which have beenlinked to increased antibacterial resistance in humans.

Buy these items organic if price is no object:

§ Asparagus, avocados, bananas, broccoli, cauliflower, sweet corn, kiwi, mangos, onions, papaya, pineapples and sweet peas. Multiple pesticide residues are, in general, rarely found on conventionally grown versions of these fruits and vegetables, according to researchby the EWG.

§ Breads, oils, potato chips, pasta, cereals, and other packaged foods, such as canned or dried fruit and vegetables. Although these processed products may have lower levels of contaminants in them, they offer limited health value because processing tends to wash away important nutrients. The more a food is processed, the less health value its organic version offers, especially in products such as cereals and pastas with levels that say "made with organic ingredients." Read the list of ingredients and you might find that while the flour is organic, the eggs aren’'t. The processed foods withthe most added value are labeled "100% Organic" and "USDA organic".

Don’'t bother buying these items organic:

§ Seafood. Whether caught in the wild or farmed, fish can be labeled organic, despite the presence of contaminants such as mercury. The USDA has not yet developed organic standards for seafood.

§ Cosmetics. Unless a personal-care product consists primarily of organic agricultural ingredients, such as aloe vera gel, it'’s pointless to buy organic.

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_produce

A Birthday Meme

Lifted from Knitorious, a meme. Do a Wikipedia search of your birth date, minus the year; list three interesting events, three people who were born, and three people who died on that day. Here's mine:

EVENTS:

1. 1260 - The spectacular Cathedral of Chartres is dedicated in the presence of King Louis IX of France; the cathedral is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
2. 1929 - "Black Thursday" stock market crash on the New York Stock Exchange.
3. 1998 - Launch of Deep Space 1 comet/asteroid mission

BORN:

1. 51 - Domitian, Roman Emperor (d. 96)
2. 1931 - Sofia Gubaidulina, Russian composer
3. 1936 - Bill Wyman, English musician (The Rolling Stones)

DIED:

1. 1537 - Jane Seymour, queen of Henry VIII of England
2. 1915 - Désiré Charnay, French archaeologist (b. 1828)
3. 1944 - Louis Renault, French automobile manufacturer (b. 1877)

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedral_of_Chartres

Mara's Eostara Haul!

Mara's Eostara Haul!
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Doesn't she look insanely thrilled? Isn't that what it's all about?



{grin}



Happy Ostara, Everyone!

Seder / Passover Experience

Good friends of ours invited us to share their Passover ritual and dinner last night and it was a very positive experience. They used a very liberal Haggadah. There were at least 2 pagan families in attendence and we didn't feel in the least uncomfortable or outsiderish.

We looked up Passover on Wikipeidia, which was very educational and helpful. We learned about the special plate and what the matzah has to do with it all. Here's the link if you are interested:

Wikipeidia's Passover Page

All that said and done, I managed to dislocate my shoulder while I was passing one of the plates of food. Apparently, I misunderstood and thought it was all about passing out from the pain. LOL My day has been pretty fraught with shoulder distress, but John says I'm being pretty stoic about it. He keeps forgetting I did it. I can tell you I haven't forgotten. I slept terribly last night and I don't think it had to do with the 3 glasses of wine I had, if you know what I mean.

We had a great time laughing and talking after the supper. I roasted some very choice coffee with a little raw chocolate thrown in for the flavah! We wound up talking about alternate experiences and, of course, school life. The other guests were people who worked with our friends at St. Andrews and/or their children go to Austin Montessori. Mara made a new friend who coincidentally lives very close to us! She's an only too and Pagan, so sounds like we may have found some summer buds!

Her new friend's daddy is a massage therapist and he has a studio in his home, so it looks like we may have also found a massage therapist for me (and my shoulder) and John (and his anxiety).

It also turns out that her mom lived in Terlingua for a year and worked at The Cave (an underground pub that Dad and I tried to visit when we were at Big Bend... they were closed). Small world.

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passover

It's Eostara!

It's Eostara!
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Okay... So we're a bit late on the Spring Equinox thing. Oh well. BUT, the Eostara Bunny swings back by on Easter, so we're good. ;) We did the Martha thang on the eggs and they turned out pretty neat. We figured out on the last 4 eggs that you don't use a whole heck of a lot of oil and it really is important that the liquid is shallow.

Mara put a note up for the Easter bunny telling her that the eggs are in the icebox and she really thinks it's warm enough to have it outside this year. We're very excited! We'll post the hunt haul tomorrow (if we don't eat it first! ;)...

The Martha Marblized Egg Link

Mara's Butterfly

Mara's Butterfly
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

She took this picture at Mo Ranch. It's kind of a LoMo shot, eh?

A Picture of the Bucolic Flowers from Satan...

FLOWERS FROM SATAN

apparently, my camera thinks the pink is from h*ll too. ;o)

Flowers from Satan

I'm feeling a bit on the insane side of late. (apply more chocolate)

John is in a tizzy with his current state of development. Or rather, states of development. Mara is constantly adjusting to his fluxes. I'm running out of buffer. Bleck.

So on to the Flowers from Satan. LOL

I started to crochet because I wanted to. I knit. I think crochet can do things knitting can't do easily. So I bought the latest of the SnB books... "Happy Hooker". She *promised* she'd teach me to crochet. I laugh in her general direction.

She leaves stuff out. Like what the heck is a yarn over? Figured it out. Cuz I'm smart. Duh. But sheesh! If you are going to teach something, don't leave out "yarn over" in the freakin' index is all I'm sayin'.

So I started a flower scarf. It's cool. Except. They didn't say use the chain as a large loop, ya idgjet. So I crocheted painstakingly into each chain. Not fun. Not relaxing. Really painful.

Thus, the Flower from Satan.

I figured it out on the second flower. Silly me!

Then the joining. Oh what a lark! I had to have a double degreed engineer help me figure out the directions. And I *still* didn't get it the second time. Or the fourth. I think I have it now. And if I don't, don't tell me. It looks good to me and I bet I figure it out later.

I should take a picture of the Flower from Satan. I will later. When I don't have to go to three different stores to get stuff that will probably wind up in the landfill eventually due to our consumeristic crack-head culture.

Lomography...

Never heard of it.

Until today.

I was browsing around on a friend's blog and she kept mentioning her LoMo. What the hell is a LoMo? So I looked around and found a link:

http://shop.lomography.com/lca/

Very interesting stuff.

I have a manual Pentax. I have two manual Pentaxii... John and I could go on photo dates again. That's what we did in college for our photography class. Hmmm... Bet I could get him into it.

Thanks, Lisa! You have inspired.

My Trip to Big Bend with My Dad (in about 500 words ;)

Santa Elena Canyon
Photo Credit: Tom Furuya
http://www.nps.gov/bibe/photogallery/river/river008.htm

Dad and I had a *marvelous* time :). I mean, MARVELOUS. I can't even begin to tell you all of the stories and things we did. I'll give it the good ol' college try...

It was a trip to remember. We did a canoe trip down *the* Big Bend in Marsical Canyon. We took pictures in Santa Elena Canyon. We did a 5 mile hike up to 6850 ft. elevation to the tippy top of Lost Mine Ridge. We ate really bad food for lots of cash at the lodge's restaurant until we found the award winning Starlite Theater Café in Terlingua (Ghost Town), TX. Lentils and tofu on rice... Veggie burger... Veggie tacos... Shade grown, organic, free trade coffee... And pie to die for! The locals were straight out of Northern Exposure. The bathrooms were the old town jailhouse. There was even a golf course (which was hysterical, let me tell you). The tequila was fine and we found a yummy liquor made out of Damiana. YUM!

We really enjoyed each other's company and re-discovered we're great friends as well as family. The canoe trip really pulled us together as a team. We dumped ourselves in the first 5 minutes. Dad thought it was all me because I was paddling like the newbie mad person I was, but it turns out, the guide was watching and told Dad he might want to steer next time ;). LOL! We had a fine time after that! I got a strawberry on my knee and everything.

When it was quiet water, I played around with the paddle to see what I could do with it. Sometimes, I turned the boat completely around! LOL! We decided that as long as we were going the right way regardless of which way our butts were pointed and we were dry, it was all good. ;) When we heard the water getting busy, I'd say "Looks like we have another opportunity for problem solving, Dad!"

Dad wants to come back down and rent a canoe for the day to go on the Guadalupe and practice some more. Hmmm... I wonder why?

We ate lunch in Mexico twice on our canoe trip. We enjoyed the hot springs and looked at some amazing stars. I lost my glasses magically and we couldn't turn around to find them because it was way past dark, new moon and we were right next to Mexico -- I figure it was a sign that I need to see my life in a new way.

The pixies kept playing tricks on us by stealing things then putting them back over and over. We both thought that was rather funny as well. Dad lost his wallet right after I lost my glasses and I told him I hoped they returned his wallet instead of my glasses if that's the way it had to be. Glasses are easier to replace. And they heard me :). Whew!

So, some grandmother in Mexico is enjoying my glasses right about now, I suspect. I hope her life is much enriched. I have an old pair on my nose right now and an appointment tomorrow with the eye doc, so it's all good.

We took loads of pictures of flowers and rock formations. I can't wait to see them after they are developed! Dad took the film to his photographer friend, so we shall see. I hope we captured a couple of good ones for them to hang on the wall :).

The weather was marvelous (almost too hot, really) for our plans and adventures. Dad is determined in a big way that we are going to do it again next year. Woo hoo! I am ready. How about next week?