Out of the Mouths of Babes...

Daddy (eyebrows raised, looking under the table): "Did you mean to let your baby fall on the floor?"

Mara (in an unconcerned tone): "No. She just tipped off accidently." [finishes off bite of grilled cheese before retriving said progeny]

That's just funny on so many levels. We were at Waterloo's, so maybe Mommy had a bit too much of the brewsky?

Okay. Maybe you had to be there. Or know just how INTO baby dolls Mara really is...

Make the Pie Higher

This is a short poem made up entirely of actual quotations from George W. Bush. These have been arranged, only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington Post writer, Richard Thompson.


MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by Washington Post writer, Richard Thompson

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
And potential mential losses

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet
Become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.*

I know that the human being
And the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope,
Where wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
I am the Decider!

Read http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/piehigher.asp for a break-down of the poem. This has been circulated since 2002.

*If you are thinking to yourself, "Wow. That's a pretty good quote." I agree. However, this is the only quote that Snopes couldn't verify. And it's strangely comforting to me. It's the only quote with good grammar and (here's the important part) it shows some imagination. If we were to do that little game we learned on Sesame Street about "Which One of These Things Isn't The Same", I'd pick this quote. Go PBS.

Flowers from Gretchen

Flowers from Gretchen
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

For my birthday! Aren't they just *gorgeous*?

I'm so lucky :).

Just look at those roses... Perfection.

Another shot of the birthday flowers...

Another shot of the birthday flowers...
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

My favorite colors, too :). Mmmm!

Thank you, Gretchen!

9 Bowls!

9 Bowls!
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

3 more to go [grin]! This is what I've been doing in my "spare" time. LOL

Aren't they all just lovely? I think people will be pleased to get them for Yule.

I've really been enjoying making them. I'm working on a lovely creamy alpaca one now.

So, How Did That Oklahoma Trip Go?

"Overcoming Passive-Aggression" by Murphy & Oberlin, ISBN 1-56924-361-1

Amazon Link: http://alnk.org/kindpasta

Still reading it. Trying to learn a new trick or two to help me stop "enabling" my mother.

I'm soooo sick of falling for her behavior over and over...

"Old People" Survey

1. Do you have a college degree?

Yes. I have enough hours for two of them. But they only gave me one. I have a Bachelor of Science in Home Economics - Housing, Interior Design & Consumer Studies. I could have a Masters in something that has to do with philosophy, art history and B-law ;).


2. What was the amount of your last electric bill?

The electric part? Ummm... $236.30. The whole utility bill? $347.09. August was f'in hot. Crotchpot cooking hot. We're on Green Power, which means we get to pay for the windmill power generators and our charge for that was about $74. We opted to do that.


3. Do you have life insurance?

No. They want too much money because I'm fat, have high cholesterol, and I'm pushing 40. Actually, I could probably get better rates now that my cholesterol is down. Went from 324 to 218. Woo hoo! [it was dairy]


4. How many hours per week do you work?

Hahahahahaha! 94 hours / week. According to mom.Salary.com


5. Have you ever attended a Toastmasters event?

Of what is this "Toastmasters" that you speak? John as illuminated my mind. Nope. Never been. I'm going to sit next to my friend Kyddryn tho'. I like her idea of toast. Soy butter please.


6. Favorite place to attend Happy Hour?

On the couch w/ a good book and a cuppa.


7. How many miles is your commute to work each day (one way)?

Ah, Grasshopper. It is but one step away from infinity. (IOW, I work at home. The cat is my only speed bump.)


8. What time do you get up every morning for work?

6:00 - 6:30a. Well, that's when I *should* get up. Lately, it's been around 6:45 - 7:15a.


9. What is your definition of sleeping in late?

Sleeping Late: A mythical state of leisure. Generally reserved for people without kidlets.


10. Do you check your cholesterol on a yearly basis?

Mostly. The last one I did was a home test. Should go in and get a lab test. I *should* also go get "The Ladies' Annual" etc. but so not interested in having the scare tactics put on me. I'm working through my issues with that. I don't know if I want to support a bunch of insurance companies and adrenaline junkies (doctors) in their stressed out lifestyles pressing me to stress too. Doesn't stress kill you? Last I heard.


11. How large was your first cellular phone?

It was about the size of a brick. First model that actually came without a battery box attached to it.


12. Does your employer provide good health insurance?

Our health insurance is interesting. I like it as far as insurance goes. However, their documentation and ability to explain things leaves MUCH to be desired. We have a plan that pays 100% of the first $1000. Then we pay the second $1000. Then they pay 80% of what they consider to be "reasonable and customary". We can go to the doctors we see fit to support. Generally speaking, I have found that the doctors that do not take insurance are the ones to go to. I don't like paying people to do mounds of paperwork. And the insurance companies don't pay them for their work in a "reasonable and customary" fashion.

Personally, I dream of the day I can tell the insurance companies to go stick it where the sun don't shine. I think they are parasites. Insurance was supposed to carry young folks through that awkward stage of life when there was no nest egg and no savings. Then, insurance was supposed to be left off and the grown-up young-en's where supposed to take care of themselves. Same with life insurance. It was supposed to cover funeral expenses and living expenses until the survivor could get back up on their feet. Now insurance is another way for funny munny to be made. Like credit cards.

Wow. Soap box. Sorry.


13. Did you use the internet to write a research paper?

The internet as we know it wasn't around when I was writing research papers. I was out of college an into my second year of marriage when I procured my first eMail addy through a pagan BBS. That was in 1991.


14. Have you attended a HS reunion?

Nope. And I've never seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show or eaten a Crispy Cream, either.


15. How many jobs have you held in your professional career?

I don't have a "professional career". I profess to be a stay-at-home-mom. So the answer to that would be... One.


16 Have you ever been fired or laid off from a job?

Nope. Either the job was completed or I got bored and left.


17. What is your favorite drink?

Depends. If I'm thirsty, water. If I'm looking for taste bud entertainment, I like Mint Water. If I'm looking for brain altering chemicals, green tea.


18. What is the most expensive bottle of wine that you have in your residence?

In residence? $9.99.


19. Have you been divorced?

Nope.


20. How old were you when you stopped getting ID'd for Alcohol?

It's the law. Before it was "The Law", I'd get carded every once in a while. I can't remember and I really don't care.


21. Favorite casino?

Never been. Don't care to go. If I want to gamble, I get out on the roads on a bicycle ;).


22. Are you happier now than you were in high school?

That is so funny, it's not funny. Does the term "Duh???" mean anything to you?


23. Did you ever have Hypercolor shirts?

What is a "Hypercolor" shirt? I wore my sweatshirts inside out to be cool in college. Does that count?


24. Do you remember when Michael Jackson was black and attracted to older people?

Yes. I remember when Michael Jackson was in the Jackson 5.


25. Do you remember when MTV actually played music videos?

Yes. I remember the first video they put out. "Video Killed the Radio Star"


26. Have you had a will made?

I made my will. At 18 years of age. Then again at around 30 years of age. Then again at around 36 years of age. It needs to be redone. Again.


27. What music was in your cd / cassette player when you were 16?

They didn't have CD players then. Let's see... Rush 2112. Classic Yes.


28. Favorite fancy / upscale restaurant?

We don't have those here in Austin ;). Closest one is Eastside Café. You can still go in there with flip flops and shorts. But it is a very fine restaurant indeed. Organic produce they grow in their garden out back and very wonderful food all around. It's in a modified house.


29. How long has it been since you attended a kegger?

Since around 1989.


30. How many major wars have you lived through?

I'm not sure about this question. I live in America. We don't have wars here. We export them.


31. Where were you when you found out about 9-11?

At home. John was in Minneapolis. I was on the computer and he messaged me about the towers. I didn't believe him. I turned on the television and watched the second tower go down. I went into shock. Airports all over were shutting down. John was due back that day. He drove his rental car all the way back to Austin. He was lucky he had a car. Mara's school kept the school day holy and didn't mention it to the children. They learned in peace. I wept for innocence lost.

Five Things List

FIVE THINGS...

In my refrigerator:

1. Organic unsweetened vanilla soy milk
2. Organic veggies and fruit
3. Fat Tire beer
4. Organic free-range Omega3 brown eggs
5. Agave sweetened, coconut based dark chocolate

(Okay that was boring. You'd think I'm militant about our diet or something. Haha! What's really amusing is when Lindsay or Herb comes over and puts their little lone [diet in Lindsay's case] coca cola in there. The fresh fruits and veggies loom over it. ;)

In my closet:

1. Mine and John's clean clothes on hangers
2. 3 baskets for dirty clothes (sorted into lights, mediums, and darks)
3. Bed Sheets, (mostly) folded and stacked on the shelf
4. Bellydance gear
5. Earrings on a big hoop hanger

In my purse:

1. Folding scissors
2. WOW peppermint drops
3. A tiny roll of toilet paper
4. A Lara bar
5. Eye drops

In my car:

1. An umbrella
2. Canvas grocery bags
3. Meditation cushion
4. Peppermint gum
5. Canvas folding chairs

Great Bucky B. Katt Quote

"Yeah, he's good at that. He annoys within a 2 millimeter tolerance." -- Bucky Katt regarding Fungo, the Ferret

Felted Bowls

Felted Bowls
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

I have decided that everyone needs a felted bowl. Yule gifties are leaping from the sticks again! Yahoo! ;o)

Another View of the Felted Bowls

Another View of the Felted Bowls
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

These are made from left-overs I had with bulky Lamb's Pride. My first one was the orange and red one. I messed up the reduction and got a flatish bowl. The blue bowl is my second attempt. I still messed up the reduction, but got a bowlier bowl. Ah, but the third, bowl... the third bowl will be a bowl of bowlish proportions! [g]

Stage Fright => Captivating Connections

Top Ten Ways to Transform Stage Fright Into Captivating Connecting
by Sandra Zimmer
http://www.self-expression.com/a_10_transform.shtml

Those of you who have the most stage fright have the potential to touch listeners deeply. That is because you have the feelings! Your feelings are up to the surface where they can be used to create genuine emotional connection with others. You cannot think away your feeling, deny them, or cover them up. I am sure you have tried, as I did, and it just did not work to control the emotional intensity with your mind. So, your task is to transform your intense feelings of fear and anxiety into the energy of passion so you can speak straight to people’'s hearts. The key is authenticity. Stage fright is fear of feeling in front of people. As you give yourself permission to be genuine, your fear dissolves into captivating connection.

1. Ground yourself.

Get out of you head and get into your body. Cultivate the ability to relax your mental attention down into your skin all the way to your feet. Imagine you melt energy out of your head and let it flow and fill your entire body. Grounding clears your head and creates a sense of strength and safety. You can think on your feet when you are in you feet. This is the most effective antidote to stage fright and presentation anxiety I know. If you need help on grounding, try using my cassette tape "Ground Yourself For Star Quality Presence".

2. Warm up your body.

Before you present or perform, make sure you have done enough physical exercise so that everything is loose and flowing. You may not realize how much physical tension impairs your ability to communicate freely. Actors and athletes know the power of warm up. You should too.

3. Let others see your real self rather than projecting an image you want them to see.

Create your style of speaking, performing, and communication based on being who you really are rather than who you think you should be. The more real you are, the less fear you feel.

4. Find out where you tense up and block the free flow of energy in your body when you become the center of attention.

Explore the tension with curiosity rather than self-judgment. Give yourself permission to really feel the tension and experience it until it releases into flow.

5. Breathe. I mean really breathe.

Take deep breaths, fast breaths, slow breaths, until you relax. Breathing helps your brain oxygenize and relaxes you body. You may get "high", so don’t do it driving. Spend 10 to 15 minutes breathing an hour before your presentation.

6. Receive your "audience".

Open yourself to take people in. Use "soft eyes" when making eye contact so that you feel like you are drinking them in through your eyes. This reduces resistance to them and draws them to you magnetically. It makes you feel that you are accepting them unconditionally.

7. Let go of perfectionism.

Give up the idea that you have to be perfect in order to be effective. Effectiveness is not about your performance. It is what happens to them, your listeners. If they are changed by your communication for the better, then you have been effective and it is enough.

8. Be there for them.

Make the presentation about serving them not about your performance. Put yourself in the position of being there to share your experience, knowledge, and wisdom. Mantra to yourself "I am here to love you and to share myself with you".

9. Choose to like them rather than worrying if they will like you.

Extend your love and acceptance to them and give them permission to receive it or not. This is a very powerful space from which to communicate.

10. Talk one-on-one, even in a large group.

Make connection with one person at a time. Have a conversation with one person, then another, then another.

What the heck *is* this?

What the heck *is* this?
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Saw this cool little big guy yesterday. It's longer than my thumb and a bit wider. Any guesses as to what kind of beetle it is? Must get out my Texas Bug Book! :o)

Tribal Bra

Tribal Bra II
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

The bra (I should give her a name...) has two mitered panels that I knit to fit. I used two coin chokers and a necklace, plus some really groovy buttons I found at JoAnns. I added ribbon to the ties (glued those on with some really amazing fabric glue) and finished it off in the back with more big buttons. It criss-crosses twice in the back, making a very nice finished look on my broad back. I had to cut the straps off, then split the two sides to form 4 connection points. I used key rings for the loops. I used cotton webbing straps for the straps. I sewed them on at a slight angle. Everything you see is hand sewn except for the straps in the back. (I highly recommend hand quilting thread if you attempt this. It is stiffer thread and it has a finish on it that allows it to slide through many layers of fabric.)

I borrowed the cross back design from pictures on Tribe.net. There is one photo that has complete instructions along with lots of helpful comments.

http://tribalcostuming.tribe.net/photos/f74623ef-751d-49f8-89ca-7df1473b7639

D-rings didn't work for me because I need too much support for them not to be pulled by the straps and get flipped around.

Tribal Bra II

Tribal Bra
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

A close up... don't the girls look happy? ;o)

Sunflower Napkin Ring

Sunflower Napkin Ring
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

I did this with the left over Cotton Tots I had from the wash cloths I did last year. I found the pattern online and used a big 2" plastic ring for the base. It's for my daughter's lunch at school next year. She's a Montessorian. :)

ATS Bellydance Belt

ATS Bellydance Belt
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Noro rocks. I love their yarn! I knat up some trangles to give more support to the ties. Then I made the tassels and attached them. The mirror base belt was purchased at Lucila's Dance Productions on South Lamar here in Austin.

The belt shimmies me almost! I'm very pleased with the results. It looks most excellent on a black skirt or black fringe scarf. [g]

My little family tribe (John, Mara, Brie & Herb) did some drumming and dancing to celebrate Father's Day. John gave Herb and me a drumming lesson.

I was nervous. I tend to think I am beat-challenged. Guess what? Not any more. Turns out, I can hold a beat pretty well. I'm very pleased because that was so not the case when I started to bellydance way back when.

I found that once I had the pattern in my hands, relaxing was key to holding the beat. Having good posture was important so I that I wouldn't tire and miss a hit. Once I allowed my hands to take over and my body to relax into a conscious state of awareness, I could look up and watch the dancers.

Oh, my.

I discovered my drumming was feeding their dancing. I was a part of the whole experience. The dancer was being danced by the drum and vice versa. Smiling and being joyful just came up out of the void and it was all good. I was able to feel being a part of the dance that I'd never felt. It was a completion of sorts. A very yin/yang kind of thing. I wasn't in the pubic eye, but yet my part was equally important. It's not that I ever devalued drummers, it's just that I've never been one so I didn't *get it*. My appreciation for my partner's drumming has gone up tremendously in just one session. I am blessed to have him.

The experience of drumming with my life partner was very awe-some. To hold the beat together and to encourage each other... to hold the beat steady if the other person missed so they could come back to it... To drum steadily while the other person enjoyed flourishes for the pure fun of it... To trust. Ah, that was sweet.

My daughter playing with that verge of becoming a woman. At 9.5 years old. She does this little dance with the baby side and the grown up side of herself. She is a natural at belly rolls and shimmies. To play the drum for her while she explores her unique abilities was so fine.
My inner eye woke up and really saw her that evening. My heart almost burst with pride and love.

My friendship bonds with Brie and Herb found nourishment and deeper commitment through feeling the Mama Beat with them. Brie's zilling sounded so joyous, like a ululation over the thumping of feet on the Earth. Her smiles and sparkling eyes inspired me to drum on and on.
Herb's deep concentration fulfilled a part of me, saying "Yes, this is worthy of our attention."

We broke up our session with that feeling of "More. Let's do/be/feel more!" Community. So important.

All because I finally had the courage to pick up a drum.

What *Have* You Been Doing?

Well, I've been busy. ;)

Which is why this blog hasn't been updated much recently.

1) Went to the memorial service for my aunt. Really not much to report there. I might scan the pictures of the cool little memory book her friends put together and post it on Flickr... Oh, and my aunt had the wedding march played at her funeral. Her last joke! Way funny!

2) John had "minor" surgery, so I've been babying him for the past 3 days.

3) Mara's off from school and we're adjusting to that. I swear we've
been *such* the social butterflies!

4) I've been taking 3 bellydance classes a week.

5) I've been setting up an Austin ATS bellydance Yahoo group with all the trimmings and the politics to go w/! LOL If you want to check it out, go here: Austin ATS Bellydance. I also have the Austin Belly*Dance Announce list. They are both members only. The announce list is purely a mailing list. The ATS group is a full-blown Yahoo group.

6) I took a kick-ass ATS II workshop this last weekend. Lori and Angela rak!

7) I'm PMSing. Didn't I just go through that??

8) I'm *trying* to crochet another doll and I just can't seem to keep it from increasing. [sigh]

So, there's my news. Back to you, Bob.

Summer Poem

Lift Me Lightly, Locust

with your heavy buzz
lift me lightly, locust
to________________
when days were bigger than me
and there were only happy hassles
of tides and castles
mud pies to runny for fudge
(just rename it gravy)
there were things to hold
like frogs and bugs
_________no room left for a grudge
when my feet were small enough
to miss most of the stickers
my nose was so tiny that smells
had to come through
one
at
a
time
I wonder how I ever had room
to breathe
my eyes were closer to the ground
but I could still see all the way
to the moon and stuff
and things just happened
and I grew up
but not all the way
'cause I could still remember
when days were bigger than me.


Caroline Brune
August 8, 1970
(age 20)
Enid, Oklahoma

For My Crow Grrrls...

Black crow, black crow, tell me...
Originally uploaded by monkeyc.net.

My Aunt and her friends are Crow Girls...

(a Charles DeLint reference)


"One crow for sorrow,
Two crows for joy,
Three crows for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five crows for silver,
Six crows for gold,
Seven crows for a secret never to be told."

-- Unknown

Black crow, black crow, tell me where you really go
When you fly into the sunset, high in evening sky,
Black crow, black crow, tell me what you really know
Will we flourish in this hurricane, or will we fall and die?

Nick Cave - Black Crow

The Cherry Street Baker

Services Set for Cherry Street Baker
By Staff Reports, The Tulsa World
5/21/2006

Caroline Brune, the owner of the former Bakery on Cherry Street and a founding member of the Tristesse Center, died May 14 of ovarian cancer. She was 56.

A memorial service is set for 3 p.m. May 28 at All Souls Unitarian Church.

Brune not only left behind a legacy of signature baked goods still served at the Wild Fork restaurant but also was instrumental in the evolution of Cherry Street, one of Tulsa's popular business districts on 15th Street between Peoria and Utica avenues.

Born in Enid on a wheat and cattle farm, Brune learned her first baking skills from her mother, Gertrude.

"Caroline always said that from the time she was old enough to stand on a stool and reach a counter, she began kneading dough," said Susanne Barnard, a close friend and owner of the Bead Merchant.

Brune was known for having an innate understanding of the idiosyncrasies of creating dough and an uncanny rhythm in the way she kneaded it, said her brother, Carl.

Kim Michie, chef and owner of the Wild Fork, said no one has been able to recreate Brune's popular peasant sourdough bread. "It just doesn't taste the same, so we quit trying."

Brune had a degree in English from Phillips University and attended graduate courses at the University of Tulsa, where she met her bakery business partner, Cheryl Dobbins. Together they opened a bakery that served doughnuts in downtown Tulsa in 1977.

When the downtown location was turned into a parking lot in the early 1980s, the women gave up their doughnut fryer, moved to 15th Street and incorporated the original street name into their new identity, a quintessential European-style coffeehouse.

The Bakery on Cherry Street was the first of its kind in Tulsa, "born out of thinking romantically about food," Dobbins said. It was in the building that houses Tucci's on 15th Street.

For many years, it was the only place in town where a patron could get an espresso, cappuccino, handmade croissants or other artisan baked goods such as Brune's hallmark Morning Buns. Unlike some places, bakery patrons were encouraged to linger as long as they liked, Dobbins said.

Brune helped revive the historic street name designation for the area and played "a role as an urban pioneer in making the Bakery on Cherry Street a neighborhood landmark," which spurred the renaissance of the Cherry Street District, said Stacey Bayles, a member of the Tulsa Metropolitan Planning Commission.

The bakery was open for 16 years. After it closed in the mid-1990s, Brune started baking for the Wild Fork. She later turned her creativity to doing woodworking for Pounds and Francs.

When her life-partner, Lisa Blaylock, died in 2000, Brune and several others founded the Tristesse Center, a nonprofit organization that offers grief-support programs to individuals and families.

"Caroline brought so much to the table because she had a real understanding and a real appreciation for the grieving process. She knew everyone loses something, whether it is an individual or health," said Christy Sanders, president of Tristesse Center.

Brune was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 and also lost her brother, John, to cancer.

She is survived by her mother, Gertrude Brune of Enid; four brothers, Carl Brune of Tulsa, G.J. Brune of Enid, Paul Brune of Lawton and Delmer Brune of Waynoka; and nine nieces and nephews.

Friends are making contributions to ovarian cancer research through the Caroline Brune Memorial Fund; Spirit Bank; 2020 E. 14th Place; Tulsa, OK 74104.

Caroline's Obituary, Tulsa World, 5/21/2006

Caroline Brune

BRUNE -- Caroline, was born May 9, 1950 and departed this life on Mother's day, Sunday, May 14, 2006. She was the daughter of Gertrude Rauh Brune and Elmer Brune. She attended Freehome School, one of the few country schools left in Garfield County, Waller Jr. High and graduated from Enid High School, in 1968. She graduated from Phillips in 1972, with a degree in English. Caroline moved to Tulsa to attend graduate school at The University of Tulsa. Shortly thereafter, with her partner Cheryl Dobbins, they opened a doughnut shop in downtown Tulsa. They then opened the Bakery on Cherry Street, where they produced wonderful croissants, morning buns, cinnamon rolls, breads and other fine products for 16 years. She is survived by: her mother, Gertrude; her brothers, G.J, Paul, Delmer and Carl; sisters-in-law, Marlene, Ramona, Mary and Julia; and nephews and nieces. She was pre-deceased by: her father; her brother John; her partner, Lisa Blaylock; as well as her grandparents and an uncle and aunt. She also leaves a community of women who have been close friends, encouragers and caregivers. Anyone who knew Caroline witnessed, in awe, the undaunted courage she found within herself to face and fight her illness, and when it came time, the even greater quality of graceful acceptance. In the last 5 years of her life, the outpouring of love, support and caring she received was mirrored in what she had given to others during her amazing life. We will miss, but more so treasure, the memory of her keen intelligence, her determined energy, her level of excellence in everything she undertook, her dry wit, her love and appreciation of beauty and all the ways she delighted us with her humor and the knowing ways in which she laughed. The world is a better place because Caroline was here. A Memorial service will be held at 3 p.m., Sunday, May 28, 2006, at All Souls Unitarian Church, 2952 S. Peoria, Tulsa, OK. In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to ovarian cancer research. Contributions can be made to the Caroline Brune Memorial Fund, 2020 E. 14th Place, Tulsa, OK 74104. Cremation Society of Oklahoma, 599-7337.
Published in the Tulsa World on 5/21/2006.

Speaking from the Belly...

by NatyaHara
http://www.natyahara.com/

Natya Hara is a concept combining the various references to sacred dance and the abdomen. A play on words I suppose, but an idea to convey the idea of being in one's personal power, dance of the womb.

The word “natya” is a sanskrit word meaning “dance”. In Bharat Natyam (classical Indian dance), three modes of movement encompasses the range of aesthetic possibilities: Nritta, Nritya, and Natya. Nritta is abstract or "pure" movement - is it pure dance devoid of emotional expression wherein dancers use body movements and pounding rhythmic footwork to create visual geometric patterns vibrating with dynamic energy. Nritya is lyrical dance that interprets poetry. Dancers use conventional hand gestures called mudras along with facial expressions and feelings to express the meanings or interpretations of the lyrics or text. Natya describes dance-drama that enacts a narrative or idea. In Natya, dancers use both pose and expressional aspects along with mime to create drama. The Natya Shastra is the oldest surviving text on stagecraft in the world.

“Hara” is a Japanese word meaning center of the body – usually referring to the navel or solar plexus, aka “belly”. There are discrepancies among the various interpretations of the chakra system, some sources state the hara is located at the solar plexus/3rd chakra while others describe it as the sacral hara chakra/2nd chakra. There are sources that reference the hara encompassing the abdominal cavity from the solar plexus to the pubic bone, thus combining the idea of chakras 2 and 3.

Cultures such as those of India, China, Japan, and Africa acknowledge the belly as the point of physical access to spiritual power. Such cultures offer practical ways (yoga, hara training, traditions of dance, rituals of healing, martial arts) to develop the belly as a source of spiritual strength.

The Japanese term for the belly and its transpersonal power is hara. The value which the Japanese culture places upon developing hara ("hara wo neru") shows up in the way the word occurs in idioms of common usage. The fully mature person, for example, is known as "hara no okii hito"—the one who has finished his belly. "Haragei" literally means "belly art" is the art of concentrating ki in the abdomen. The hara is viewed as the seat of personal power. The vocalizations in martial arts, “kiai!” does not originate from the throat, but the hara.

In nature the hara is a vulnerable place: animals protect their soft underbellies. It is an indication of trust when they allow you to pet or rub its belly. In humans, the belly is a vulnerable place as well. So much attention is placed on what it looks like and for many it is a source of personal insecurity. We are taught the abdomen it to be held tight and must be flat. A wonder if many are able to breathe deeply. Our emotions are represented in the belly - the visceral center/the seat of emotions.

The hara, also described 3 finger widths below the navel, is the warehouse which stores a woman's life-affirming, self-affirming energy connecting emotional and intellectual centers.

Crafting & Summer Plans (Cuz *Everyone's* Asking Lately! ;)

How Gifts Are Made
Originally uploaded by Hello Doodle!.

Bellydancing has been a BIG deal lately. Brie and I sewed up some *awesome* tribal-ly looking pants. They look like skirts, but are wrap-around pants. I have cholis (half tops that are traditional for tribal bellydance) arriving in the mail sometime tomorrow, I think.

(Off-topic in a diagonal sort of way: All of the sudden, I can expose my belly. That's been such a big deal for me, even when I was "thin". I have had such a time of it making friends with my belly. And my breasts. They are so far from the social ideal, it's pathetic [as in "a pathos"]. But they have nurtured Mara and I'm going to turn 40 in another year and a half. I get to step gracefully to the left and not be in the 'gotta be the hottie' spotlight. I want/need to unconditionally accept all of me. Vogue just seems to keep me from it, I swear! LOL I really feel like I've made huge steps to get there these past few weeks. Here's to me making giant steps for womyn-kind by 2008. :)

I'm planning on dipping candles, making another Waldorf doll or two, sewing pads, making pocket diapers for Mara's dolls (she has a couple that 'pee' and she's at a loss about what to do with diapering. I think we could do some awesome things for environmental reasons. She is really into not wasting things now.), beading, making beads, decorating a "push-up" bra I found for a tribal bra (and repurposing a bunch of old jewelry in the process), making another tassel belt, soap making (Mom's put in an order for ginger soap). We've got a bunch of really cool craft kits hanging around, so we're going to do those too. I think there's even a mini-book making one somewhere. Oh, and friendship bracelets.

I have a Aryan cables blanket I'm still working on. I'll probably work on that on our way up and back from Tulsa/Lawton. I'm still working on that gorgeous sweater coat too. AND I'm planning on designing a choli and belt with the mitered knitting I've been doing.

Jut a few things for the summer. [g]

Oh, yeah. [bleck] and figure out what the heck I'm going to do for Yule/Christmas gifties. I had this cool plan about aquiring/making gifts all throughout the year. Yeah. Soooo not happening. Maybe when I grow up and don't have, like, *anything* else to do. [sigh] Oh, well. A grrrl's gotta have goals! LOL

Feeling Peaceful & Energized

sappho's lament
Originally uploaded by fubuki.

I had an emotional break-through on the other side at bellydance this week. Last class, I broke down and couldn't focus. Didn't want to share my energy etc. Went back in for the slow moves and that helped.

This week, I was energized and ready to rock. I even managed to let my body figure out the 3/4 shimmy, which has been eluding me for about 10 years. ;) I'm dreaming about dancing and I'm releasing a lot of stuff in class. Last Saturday, I was able to "flirt" with a woman who was watching the class. The moves are really starting to stick in my body. I'm very excited about it.

When I got home from class, I was all jazzed and happy. When I think about my aunt, I find a calm, peaceful, contented feeling. I'm still sad she's gone, but I think she's moved on.

The memorial service is on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. May 28th. We're going to leave from here next Friday around noon and blaze up to Lawton again. Then John, Dad, Mom, Darren, and I will go up to Tulsa on Sunday in the a.m. The service is at 3p. I suspect the reception will last until 5p. Then there's a dinner at Caroline's house with drinking and carrying on, crying laughing shouting debating story telling until all hours. Dad will stay the night, but the rest of us will go back to Lawton around 7 or 8p, I suspect. Mara's hanging out with her great Grama and her great great aunt and 1st cousin twice removed (I had to ask John about how that works... Still don't get it). Hopefully the pool will be open at Grampa's house and we won't have to worry about them entertaining her or anything. [g]

We aren't taking Mara to the memorial/wake. I talked to Dad about the intensity level and he said "Let's just say there *will* be American Indian wailing." Well, okay then. Let me just get my ashes and rent-worthy clothes on so we can really tie one on. All I can do is ululate. I could probably work up a good scratch or two on my face if I really go into it. Perhaps I should go as Sandman's Death. I have the outfit for it... I could do the Eye of Horus on one of my eyes.
And I have a black veil somewhere around here.

Believe me. That will *all* fit in. My family knows how to mourn, by the Gods!

As Promised, The Finished Caroline Doll

Isn't she just a doll? LOL Perky/plucky/punky... I think she's just too cute to look at. She's featured in Bust magazine. Apparently, she's all the rage in Japan. Note the Mary Janes...

Mother's Day Flowers!

Mother's Day Flowers!
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

How Bee-yu-tah-full! I simply am mad about flowers... Oh yes :). And Snap Dragons. My fave!

Flowers arranged by Coby Neal - The Flower Studio

Strange Japanese Crochet Dolly (her legs are being done today lol): by Moi

The Doll Mommy's Mother's Day Flowers!

The Doll Mommy's Mother's Day Flowers!
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Bella Nana sent Mara flowers on Mother's Day to celebrate her tight relationship with all of her dolls :). How sweet is that?


Flowers arranged by Coby Neal - The Flower Studio

She has crossed over.

...she passed away in her mother's arms. On Mother's Day. She went gently.

Thank you for all of your love and gentle holding these past few weeks and years. I love you all.

I will miss her. For a while. Then she will show up again and it will all be good. :)

What a marvel, the Wheel of Life.
.
.
.
Merry Meet and Merry Part and Merry Meet Again, Sweet Aunt Caroline.

You will be remembered.

Blessed Be.

Detail of the Strap

Detail of the Strap
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

I actually had to go online to learn how to do the reverse chain stitch for embroidery. I'm pleased with how it turned out on the outside, but I still think improvements could be made on the inside. There's an untidy mess of yarn stitches. Even if I were actually *good* at embroidery, I think there would be an eyesore back there. And it's visible when you open the bag... Unsightly. And after all that perfect felting, too.

But the gods are please it isn't perfect... the embroidery saved me from smiting, at least! LOL

My Bag at a Better Angle

My Bag at a Better Angle
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

You can see the bottom edge. It turned out (dare I say it?) perfectly. [g] I'm extremely happy with it. I can't decide if it's a dance bag or a SnB project bag. Or a "on the fly" bag... Choices, choices!

Latest Finished Project... *My* Bag :)

Latest Finished Project... *My* Bag :)
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Mmmm... Yummy! *Love* the colors... Same project as John's bag.

Your Lesson in Pharmacology for Today...

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Author Unknown. Email joke circulated.

photo: Public Domain; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:VariousPills.JPG

Ode to PMS

Lisa, where oh where is that t-shirt???

I needy it...

The one that says:

"FUCK ALL Y'ALL!"

{kiss kiss}

Just s'mother me in chocolate. I need someone to feed me and take care of my shit today. I'm all played out.



photo from: http://www.vortexrep.org

Integral Naked

Intrigued?

Go here...

I've been listening to Ken Wiber again. What a mind blowing experience.

Another thing that could be interesting is...

The Spirit of Conscious Business with a foreward by Mr. Ed (as we call Ken in this household. [wink]).

photo from: http://in.integralinstitute.org/i/yabyum_wht.jpg

Song Birds

How sweet *can* you get?
Song Fest 2006, Birdsong Cottage
05/04/06, 8:15 p.m.
Mara, Eva, Celestina, Eanna & Jada

Photo: Taken w/ my cel phone on the fly...

A Quote from Bucky B. Katt

Okay. It's too small to really read... but the punch line is ever so worth it...

"Awww... Be consistent! You are just flailing around like a lubed up squid." -- Bucky B. Katt

House of the Holy

My journey to Be with my aunt was long. I packed up our family for the 2 days we'd be gone and we drove for 6.5 hours to get to Lawton, OK. We got in at 10:00p. Right before we took off, Bro called to let me know that Dad had found out the hard way (by having to go the emergency room) that he has a prostate infection. Not fun. Turns out, Dad thinks he had the beginnings of it on our trip to Big Bend. Poor guy!

Dad had set us up in a *very* nice suite at a motel so we had our own space and Mom didn't have to make room for us at the house ("the house" floats. Whomever's house you are collective at, that's where "the house" is.). I did yoga every morning. My shoulder thanked me after ;). We used the hot tub twice and that was ooooh so nice. Mara loved it :).

We ate (a junky but pretty yummy) breakfast and headed over to the house. Turns out, the antibiotics weren't heavy duty enough and the infection had gone on long enough that Dad wasn't really travel-worthy. So, we made some calls and left messages. Cancelled doctors appointments, let the school know Mara wouldn't be there on Monday, checked in with bosses, cat-sitters etc. Arrangements were made and we stayed an extra day so we could go to Tulsa (that's where Aunt Caroline lives) on Sunday. How stressful. Mara was ecstatic. John not so ecstatic.

Bro and John worked it so that the wireless network at Dad's now supports both of their laptops. That means they can work while they are there and ease the burden of too much piling up while they are on leave.

Mom and I seem to always shop when there is death in the air, and this time was no different. She needed to go pick up a few items and return some things. (She doesn't drive.) So off to Tuesday Morning and Jean's Beads we go (and all the other places she didn't mention but were on the list in fine print... Typical. ;). My health-dar went off and I stopped at the health food store to pick up some probiotics for Dad. Heavy hitter antibiotics suck. And apparently doubly-so for Dad. So he gets the best of the best of the best probiotics and we time them so that there are good little buggers in his guts repopulating while the bad little buggers get killed off.

I scored some really nice towel-age for the house (I'm in Austin now, so that's the house of which I'm referring ;), a pretty bathroom rug, and some very groovy gift wrapping paper. Oh, and some excellent cotton blend yarn for crocheting. In hanks, no less! Very posh. Mom bought the towels for me (thanks, Mom!). They are all off-white, but they aren't matching patterns, so everyone's happy. ;)

I get back to the house (in Lawton) and I'm exhausted. We do dinner, drag ourselves back to the motel and get into the hot tub. Ahhhh... Sweet surrender. Read some Get Fuzzy and Sherman's Lagoon and nod off.

The next day, I get up, do the yoga thang, eat "breakfast", and get picked up by some really cute guys (Dad and Bro). The phone conversation went something like this:

Me: "Hola."
Dad: "Hey. We're here."
Me: "'K."
Dad: "Okay."
[click]

That's pretty typical. What's funny is that there is a load of things said in all of that, but it's assumed. It was a loving conversation. LOL None of us are particularly wordy in the a.m. Mom's all snugged in in the back of the rental car Bro picked up at the OKC airport. Which means I get the front seat due to my car sick past. Mom passes me the Bonine. Ah, the perks of having a mom in da house! I counter with passing my wooly shawl back when she says "I should have brought a pillow." We were packing enough snacks and everything to feed a small nation in food bars, LOL! Darren drove like a race car driver bat outta hell and we got there in good time. Lunch. Need lunch. Went to the Wild Fork to see if they were serving. No such luck. Waaaah!

But hey! Caroline is calling and saying that the Wild Fork is at her house and waiting to feed us! Yay! (Kim, the chef at the Wild Fork brought yummies for us to feast on.)

We arrived, stretched and paused for station identification. Zoe, the big black dog, was announcing our arrival. We went in. And there she was, in all her glory, laying on a golden couch looking like she just woke up from a little nap. She's wearing vermillion and teal striped long jammies and has that sparkle in her eyes that just never quits.

Caroline. Our sweet sweet Caroline.

The house is holy. It is steeped in love. The air is almost palpable with it. We stop and kneel to give homage to Our Caroline. Hugs all around. Smiles. "You look fucking great!" murmured over and over.

Time stops. It swirls. It melts. The light is golden and old. The floor creaks. People move in and out in a dance as old as the tribes. The kitchen is calling with it's heartbeat of Life Life Life... Eat Eat Eat. Sustain yourself. Julia, my Uncle Carl's life partner (Carl is Dad and Caroline's brother), is doing the eternal Mother's waltz, setting out plates, arranging food, drink... Performing the sacred extracting of the Blood of the Coffee Bean. We all eat. On the deck outside. It's a little deck and Caroline holds court in her padded easy deck chair. She lights up a little all-natural cigarillo and takes a beloved drag. She asks me to make her some coffee. The color of caramel. She laughs and carries on. She leans forward and a friend starts to rub her lower back. She closes her eyes and sighs.

People come in the back gate, the front door, and I swear they ooze in from the walls. Most of them are lesbians in their full glory. Ah, the sweetness of a full-blown lesbian. Like a heritage rose... I am steeping in womyn-energy.

The house is falling apart. It is glorious. It is the perfect balance of done and un-done. The colors on the wall are done as if someone just got the urge to paint a wall now and again. The kitchen is barely enough, but it is enough. The ice box has beer in it and a few things to eat. Just enough to sustain. The floor has the marks of many many feet walking the labyrinth of life across it. The bathroom is only half painted. Lisa, Caroline's life mate, died several years ago from an aneurism, and didn't finish. Caroline left it. There is a brick on the step into the house that is almost completely loose from so many feet passing. It is a tribute to the people in Caroline's life. The walls are a riot of color. Not perfectly done. As if it was done in a moment of need for color, not a need to impress.

Caroline moves from the deck to the living room, back to the golden couch. She says something about wanting a foot massage. I smile and say "Whatever you wish, I will do." Her toenails are painted electric blue. I rub her feet. Her eyes roll up into her head. She sighs. We speak of everything and nothing. She likes it firm, and it doesn't matter if it bruises. She doesn't care. She's tired of hurting. So I rub and rub. And then I rub her hands. I move her energy, rebalancing and unblocking. Gentle. Gentle. She says she's floating. I pause to go to the bathroom, but before I go... We have a sacred Womyn-Moment.

I tell her I am bellydancing again. This time, it all American Tribal. I'm in classes for it. I tell her it is spirals on spirals. She nods and smiles. I unconsciously raise my arms and she mimics me. I tell her about the womyn-experience of being groups with other womyn and how the energy flows and we become One. She nods and we do tiny snake arms and body rolls together. We Understand each other...

I start to rub her back (she's on her side because she has a drainage bag on her abdomen) and her old bakery partner stops by. Cheryl is now in California, but has flown in the visit. It was so good to see her. Cheryl sits and holds Carolyn's feet. She completes the connection. The energy flows. Caroline is really floating now. We finish and I stand up to go wash my hands.

My body is hot. I am sweating. My hands and body are buzzing w/ energy. I feel almost dizzy. I go to the sink and wash my hands. Bro looks at me and says "Damn, girl! You worked it." I shared some of my energy with him.

Cheryl comes away from Caroline with unspilled tears welling up in her eyes. I look at her and say "Are you all right?" She nods. She says she has to go. I say "Everything's going to be okay." Tears spill. We hold each other. Our bellies touch and the energy moves again. In spirals. The center of the universe is in our bellies.

Uncle Carl walks her out. While I was massaging Caroline, Mom, Dad and Bro are repotting and planting geraniums, fixing tub faucets, and repairing things. People are putting matchsticks in the little house that Julia found at a craft store. She drilled holes in patterns all over the house. They are going to Burn Down The House on Caroline's birthday (May 9th). People put wishes for Caroline in the house to be sent up in the smoke.

Isis is watching over the whole thing... Julia did a dark blue cow's head with the Isis horns and the solar disk. It is coming out of the purple brick wall with hoofs, head and neck pushing through. Beads adorn her horns.

Carl is working on a cookbook that has all the recipes Caroline and her mother worked on throughout their lives. He's in the spare bedroom working on a Mac. He scans a picture of Uncle GJ, Dad, Uncle Delmer and Aunt Caroline when they were little. He gifts a book to John about the lost books of the bible. He and I go to the fusion restaurant around the corner and order food for everyone. We eat. Drink Guinness.

The Maiden, Mother and Crone drop by for a whirlwind visit. They have just flown in from New York. Susanne (a former lover/roommate of Caroline's) owns The Bead Shop and has long wavy red hair and dreamy green eyes. Her mother is a renown watercolorist - Sabina. Sabina was being honored in NYC as one of the top 100 watercolorists in the nation. Or was it top 10? I can't remember. She felt like Angelica Houston. Very classy with raven black hair and a beautiful old German accent. Susanne's sister was tall (they are all tall) and golden haired with electric energy. The settled in to roost with Caroline and then took flight a bit later.

Caroline's Womynion (womynion: a minion of womyn called in a time of need) have set aside the entire day for us. We get time undiluted with Caroline. A precious gift. Christy, the Alpha Bitch of the Womynion, shows me the schedule for March, April and May. It is packed. Caroline is never alone.

We were preparing to leave and I get tapped to talk to Christy on the deck. Kim came out too (ha-ha, little queer humor there ;). I bring my knitting because I thought it was just going to be a little chatting. Turns out that there was nothing "little" about it.

Christy lights up a cigarette and asks me how the family feels about how they are doing with Caroline. I look at her and say "We feel gratitude towards ya'll. We are honored you are in her life. We appreciate you." Then she said that she wanted to make sure we were okay with everything, especially my dad, because some of Caroline's last wishes are a bit unorthodox and they don't have the law behind them to carry it out. My grandmother does. Closest of kin.

Me: Okaaaay.... And? What are these unorthodox things she wants?

Christy: [pause] [deep breath] She wants her body washed.

Me: By whom?

Christy: There's a list. Me and Kim... Others in our community.

Me: Okaaaay.... And? What else?

Christy: She wants to be cremated.

Me: So do I. Annnd?

Christie: She wants the ashes to be split four ways.

Me: To whom do the ashes go?

Christy: 3 sets of friends and your grandmother.

Me: Okay. Good idea. That way Grandmother can do her own memorial. Anything else?

Christy: [pause] [uncomfortable look]

Me: Stopping of the clocks at the time of passing? Covering the mirrors? Candlelight vigil? No shoes so the body doesn't walk? Coins on the eyes?

Christy: [pause] No... No. Maybe Caroline needs to talk to you about some of these rituals... Carl is in charge of the rocks piled up thingy...

[Uncle Carl nods]

Me: A cairn?

[relieved looks]

Christy: Yes! That's what it's called!

Me: Is it going to be a permanent fixture? How is that going to happen?

Carl: It's not set yet. The idea is for people to bring items and make the cairn themselves, then take the items home after the funeral is over.

Me: Ah! What a brilliant idea. That way, everyone can have a memorial of their own. Lovely :).

[nodding heads]

Me: What else?

Christy: She wants the funeral to be held at All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church. Not a Lutheran one.

Me: Ah. Grandmother isn't going to like that.

Christy: Yes, that's what we're worried about.

Me: Well, who the hell is Lutheran in this bunch other than Gra'ma? Besides, Caroline is gay last time I checked and the Christian churches "don't do gay". You can't have last rites and be gay as far as I know...

Christy: Yes, but your grandmother has all of the legal rights.

Me: Ah. An authority/responsibility problem. You have all of the responsibilities and Grandmother has all of the authority....

And so the conversation went. I talked to my brother, my dad and my mom in the car on the way back about it. They were so lovingly funny about it. When I told them about the "unorthodox" part, they were like "all those things are traditional. What's the deal?" And I said finally "Over my dead body will Caroline's last rites be done in a church that doesn't acknowledge all of her. The Unitarian church can accept all of us. The Lutheran one cannot." Darren paused and said "I don't want to rest all of this on your shoulders, but I think you should be the one to make sure Caroline's last wishes are carried out." There was a deep pause. Then Mom said, "I was going to say the same thing." And Dad said, "Me too."

With all of that resulting in me being tapped to be the executrix of Caroline's last wishes. Dad called Christie the next day and asked her if that would help. She said that it was great and that Caroline would really love that. Turns out, I've been accepted as Family.

What an honor. I am deeply touched. Because promises for last wishes must be kept.

Fast forward to today...

Last night, I went to my bellydance class. I thought I would really be healed and taken away like the past classes. Apparently not so. I got in there and couldn't feel the beat. Couldn't make my body move. Just wanted to rest and Be. So I left class. I was worried that being in a group and sharing my energy wouldn't have been a responsible thing to do.

I went out to my car and cried and cried. The sun was coming back out from an intense rainstorm. I was going to leave, but decided to tell the shop owner that it wasn't my instructor or anything, I was just having an intense emotional response. Lori, my instructor came out for a moment and found me and I told her what was going on. I really felt like my intense response was from my travels and travails. She invited me back into class saying we were going to do slow moves.

So I went back in and did it. Which is good because later I would have felt like I had failed. Unfortunately, just as we were getting into this amazing passionate song, and we were starting to groove, she stopped us because it was the end of class and the song was 9 minutes long. What would 4 more minutes have done? Oh, well.

So I'm stuck in this weird place. My energy is all skewed. I know that later and in retrospect, it will all be clear. But for now, I'm all muddy. Which is funny. I'm a Scorpio (water) and Caroline is a Taurus (earth). Perhaps I'm still tuned in.

Perhaps the phone conversation I had with a dear friend contributed to my fall. She said she and her husband are looking at properties away from Austin. He is looking at being laid off. They are enjoying Ren-Festing from behind the scenes (she's been playing hammered dulcimer gigs and he's helping her with that) for the past 6 months. Selling their tax-heavy Austin house for a place out in the country where their dogs can go free and they can have looser living constraints is attractive. But she's a nurse and how is she going to work clear out in the boonies? What is he going to do? Blah blah blah. And we can't move with them (they are that special that we would even consider that). Not really. Our lives are entangled and enmeshed here in Austin for now. Mara's school, our community, bellydancing, knitting groups, healthcare givers etc.

It's complicated.

As usual. ;)

I am sure I'll get over it. [tired grin] I just have to wait for the energy to change.

Which is never a long wait.

Photo Credit: Unknown. Please Do Not Redistribute.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Mara looked at me with a thoughtful gleam in her eye and said:

"Mimi, I think that birth and death are really just two doors to the same room."

Damn.

And we all take a step to the left.

The adventure
Of life is to LEARN.

The goal
Of life is to GROW.

The nature
Of life is to CHANGE.

The challenge
Of life is to OVERCOME.

The essence
Of life is to CARE.

The secret
Of life is to DARE.

The beauty
Of life is to GIVE.

The joy
Of life is to LOVE.

- William Arthur Ward

A Haiku for My Auntie

Spin/Stir Aunt
Whisper Whistle Whoop...
Be-Wilder!

Image from: Australian Museum Online

My Second Life-Hera Is Dying

My Aunt Caroline

Is

Dying.

Hospice has been called. They are probably there right now. Caroline has cancer. Cancer has Caroline. She has decided enough is enough. Her body has done everything it can to kick the cancer out. She's been fighting it for about 5 years now.

They say she has weeks to live.

She's not eating or drinking. She's just on an I.V. drip. She walked 6 blocks yesterday. She has the Hoverers (her community friends) to keep her spirit up.

My uncle is bringing a big computer over to finish up the cookbook they were working on. It documents all of the recipes my grandmother made over the decades. (My grandmother is still alive. Caroline will be the second adult child she will bury.)

What will I do without My Caroline on this earth? How will I go on? Why does it have to be this way? She's only 56 years old.

She can't drink anything because it will bloat her. She can't eat anything because it just comes back up. The antibiotics they have her on are so strong, they are making her sick. But if she doesn't take the antibiotics, she will die from infection.

She says she's tired. She's tired of it all. She's in pain.

I do not want to go on without her. I am selfish. But go on I will. Grama's going on. Dad's going on. I will go on. And that's what she wants.

Her cancer has been a gift to our family. It has brought us so much closer. And the truths that have come out have cleared the air a lot. People are healthier due to her cancer. Is that not ironic?

I will go to see her soon. Before she crosses over. I will tell her I will miss her and her sweet melody. I will carry her song in my heart and pass it on. I will be sad. I am sad.

And then, when she is gone from this earthly venture, I will go back again and celebrate her life with my family. We will have a wake for her. And we will party in her memory. We will tell stories, sing songs, and be silly.

Because Caroline wants it that way. And so do I.

Tiger Tiger Burning Bright...

I love you Caroline.

I will honor your memory on each Samhain. You will take a spot of honor next to Aunt Sophia. Kith and Kin. In Spirit.

Go In Power & Go In Peace.

Merry Meet, and Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again...

Blessed Be.

The Little People of Stonehenge

The Little People of Stonehenge
(Photo by: Jordan Donie)
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Here's Mara coming back from her Mo Ranch experience. They stopped at the stonehenge that's close to the ranch. I'm jealous! :)

Every Witch Way, as defined by Websters' First New Intergalactic Wickedary of the English Language; Conjured by Mary Daly; Illus by Sudie Rakunsin

image found at: http://www.sudierakusin.com/index2.htm

Witch Way, Every [every which way "in every direction...in a disorderly manner; IRREGULARLY" -- Webster's] : in every Weird direction: Erratically; in any Sparking/Spooking way that Dis-orders boreocracy. See: Labyrinth; Pixy-path (W-W2)

I loooove the Wickedary. Shall we look up Labyrinth and Pixy-path? Of course we shall.

Pixy Path [a path by which those who follow it are bewildered and lost" -- OED] 1: trail into the Background where Journeyers are Be-Wildered and forever lost to the patriarchy 2: pathway that leads between the left and right hemispheres of the brain; path that leads off the map and into the Third Hemisphere. See: Third Hemisphere (W-W2)

Labyrinth n[(derived fr. Gk labyrinthos...akin to Gk labrys double ax): "a structure full of intricate passageways...the internal ear" -- Webster's] 1: true pathway of the Metapatriarchal Journey of Exorcism and Ectasy, leading into and through the Background 2: an Elemental capacity for Hearing the way into the Otherworld

Third Hemisphere: zone Dis-covered and explored by Contrary-Wise Crones who Spin beyond the compass and off the map; uncharted Zone: Fairy Space

mmmm.... delicious.

Just the thing to read when one has finished spreading 3.5 cubic yards of organic compost all over one's domain. In other words: I'm tired. But be-laughing and happy about it! So, in yo' face Fake Green Yards at the McMansions Estates! The worms are so happy at my place. And welcome too. Spiders and insects, oh my! Me and my wycked wycked ways!

So, apparently, I *would* rather shovel shit than balance the checkbook!

What did I do today?

Started the day with a nice steaming pile of compost.

Seriously. You should have seen it! It was delivered today from The Natural Gardener. Bright and early. Okay. So it wasn't bright. But it was early!

And I just couldn't stay out of it. I was grumpy. So I got a shovel and a wheelbarrow and started to top dress my backyard. I only did 6 contractor-sized wheelbarrows-full. Only. (Remember, I dislocated my shoulder a mere week ago.) And I managed to do that in a little over an hour or so. While I was listening to Ken Wilbur's Spiral Dynamics CD's. (I am so f'in crunchy, it's pathetic.) I spread it around, back racked it in, and boy-ola! Pretty dirt. Nothing says love like compost. Well, to an organic yard with earthworms, anyway ;o). In another 2 days, with John's help, we will have 3.5 cubic yards of compost lovingly blanketing our sweet domain.

Personally, I hope the promise of it helping with the watering this summer pulls through. Apparently, rotting material is like gold the way they price it {grin}.

And to think, I could have balanced the checkbook. Hahaha! That can wait another day. The grass needs me...

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Composting

The irony of it all...

What is Tribal Belly Dance?
Copyright and All Rights Reserved by Heavy Hips Director Palika in March, 2000.

(Could be titled: "Why I Personally Belly Dance" just as easily. But, since I didn't write it, I didn't get to choose the title.)

Written in 2000. That's the ironic part.

Because that's when I stopped practicing. Due to frustration and anxiety over-load. I hope it's better this time around...

Sometimes I really wonder about myself. But then, that makes me special *how*? ;o)

I'm still giving myself 9 kinds of hell because I'm a social retard. Oh, well. I have to be content with the fact that I try, I really do and that I'm good at other things.

Photo from: Unknown

American Tribal Belly*Dance

That's me, 10 years ago. Carolena Nerricio and I were starting up our mail-order businesses. I had the honor and the priviledge of witnessing (and in some very very small ways, contributing to) FatChanceBellyDance grow to the fabulocity it is today. How amazing that time flies like it does...

10 years later, I'm starting up classes again. I did bellydance classes from 1994 until 2000. I was the web mistress for Austin Belly*Dance web site for something like 6 years and I've maintained the Austin Belly*Dance announce mail-list for about 7 years now.

I stopped bellydance for a few reasons, but the main one was Mara just wouldn't sit still for it any more. She wasn't interested in hanging out at the shows while her daddy and I either performed or watched. She had other things to do. The other reason (and this one is far more potent) was that I couldn't get past my anxiety about performing. And for some reason, most people in bellydance are all about performing. Perfectionism got in my way. I didn't (and couldn't) understand that you had to fail over and over at something before you succeeded. That just wasn't part of what I'd experienced in life. Either you are good at something, or you are not.

Raising a child and knitting (yes, knitting! All praise the Knitting Goddess!) has changed me quite a bit. My body is so much more flexible and strong due to a thriving yoga practice, walking, biking, hiking, and doing my own yard work. I'm still able to pick Mara up and she's about 74 lbs. But the knitting... Ah, the knitting. It has really changed my perceptions and softened my perspectives on how to learn something and how to practice it. It is not "Do or do not." It's more like "Practice." If you do something with an end result in mind, it will be over. It can't continue on. Yarn has taught me that. I could go on and on about it.

So, finally... Austin's bellydance community has reached a maturity level to support tribal dance. It's been here struggling for over 10 years. I went to the FatChanceBellyDance HOT seminar back in... was it 1998? It was *fantastic*. There were so many dancers in attendance. But tribal never *really* took off here at that point. There were no classes. No structure within which to practice and commune. There were a few of us who loved it, but not enough passion and dedication to spark the energy it takes to gestate a full blown tribe. And now, there is! Oh, gloriousness!

Don't get me wrong. They've been building up for a while and my family situation has finally allowed me to reintegrate with the bellydance community. So, it's not me saying what amounts to "I told you so". It's me rejoicing in finding this ready-made community of fine, well-made, organic, independent womyn practicing something I love. It's me feeling so incredibly lucky that this community waited for me and welcomed me when I grew up enough to truly appreciated it. I feel as if I've come home.

Bellydance. Parenting. Knitting. Yoga. Crochet. Bellydance.

So, look up some bellydance! A big zaghareet to you all!

• FatChanceBellyDance
• Mountain Gypsy Tribe
• American Tribal Style Wikipedia Page
• Heavy Hips

Satan's Daisy Chain...

Satan's Daisy Chain...
Originally uploaded by DragonFly24.

Annnnnd.... Here it is in all it's glory! It amuses me to think about Casey and Andy's Satan crocheting as one of Her hobbies... For those of you who haven't indulged, Casey & Andy . As luck would have it, today's strip features... Satan };`>.

Consumer Reports, (February 2006): which organic foods are your best buy

Buy these items organic as often as possible:

§ Apples, bell peppers, celery, cherries, imported grapes, nectarines, peaches, pears, potatoes, red raspberries, spinach and strawberries. Even after washing some fruits and vegetables consistently carry much higher levels of pesticide residue than others. Researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG) have developed the "dirty dozen" fruits and vegetables which are listed, that they say you should always buy organic if possible because their conventionally grown counterparts tend to be laden with pesticides. Among the fruits, nectarines had the highest percentage - testing positive for pesticide residue. Peaches and red raspberries had the most pesticides on a single sample. Among the vegetables, celery and spinach most often carried pesticides with spinach having the highest number on a single sample. (For more information on pesticide levels for other types of produce, go to www.foodnews.org.)

§ Meat, poultry, eggs and dairy. By purchasing organic products, you greatly reduce the risk of exposure to the agent believed to cause mad cow disease and minimize exposure to other potential toxins in non-organic feed. You also avoid the results of production methods that use daily supplemental hormones and antibiotics, which have beenlinked to increased antibacterial resistance in humans.

Buy these items organic if price is no object:

§ Asparagus, avocados, bananas, broccoli, cauliflower, sweet corn, kiwi, mangos, onions, papaya, pineapples and sweet peas. Multiple pesticide residues are, in general, rarely found on conventionally grown versions of these fruits and vegetables, according to researchby the EWG.

§ Breads, oils, potato chips, pasta, cereals, and other packaged foods, such as canned or dried fruit and vegetables. Although these processed products may have lower levels of contaminants in them, they offer limited health value because processing tends to wash away important nutrients. The more a food is processed, the less health value its organic version offers, especially in products such as cereals and pastas with levels that say "made with organic ingredients." Read the list of ingredients and you might find that while the flour is organic, the eggs aren’'t. The processed foods withthe most added value are labeled "100% Organic" and "USDA organic".

Don’'t bother buying these items organic:

§ Seafood. Whether caught in the wild or farmed, fish can be labeled organic, despite the presence of contaminants such as mercury. The USDA has not yet developed organic standards for seafood.

§ Cosmetics. Unless a personal-care product consists primarily of organic agricultural ingredients, such as aloe vera gel, it'’s pointless to buy organic.

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Organic_produce

A Birthday Meme

Lifted from Knitorious, a meme. Do a Wikipedia search of your birth date, minus the year; list three interesting events, three people who were born, and three people who died on that day. Here's mine:

EVENTS:

1. 1260 - The spectacular Cathedral of Chartres is dedicated in the presence of King Louis IX of France; the cathedral is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site.
2. 1929 - "Black Thursday" stock market crash on the New York Stock Exchange.
3. 1998 - Launch of Deep Space 1 comet/asteroid mission

BORN:

1. 51 - Domitian, Roman Emperor (d. 96)
2. 1931 - Sofia Gubaidulina, Russian composer
3. 1936 - Bill Wyman, English musician (The Rolling Stones)

DIED:

1. 1537 - Jane Seymour, queen of Henry VIII of England
2. 1915 - Désiré Charnay, French archaeologist (b. 1828)
3. 1944 - Louis Renault, French automobile manufacturer (b. 1877)

Picture from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cathedral_of_Chartres